


Some Nights I Call It A Draw

by AngelWithAStory



Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Critical Role: Wildemount Campaign (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff with a hint of angst, Forehead Kisses, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Reunions, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 09:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15458124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWithAStory/pseuds/AngelWithAStory
Summary: They’d had a plan.It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it was never going to be.That didn’t matter.It didn’t matter when it hadworked.EPISODE 26/27 SPOILERS





	Some Nights I Call It A Draw

**Author's Note:**

> title's from Some Nights - Fun. bc it felt appropriate
> 
> I've been struggling with this fic for a few days now and I've only _just_ managed to wrestle it into submission, so I'm posting it as it is and I may clean it up in a few days once I have a clear head  <3  
> (teen ratings probably overkill lol)
> 
> i'm queenmoggy on tumblr and discord if you wanna chat about the new cleric <3

They all had expectations for what that first night reunited would be like. They had expected tears, probably embracing, _relief_. They knew that the fight to get them back would be tough, but that it would be worth it for that first moment when they were together once more, and they could find somewhere to hide and they could _relax_ , and they could run back to the (relative) safety of Zadash.

But then Mollymauk had fallen.

And everything had almost fallen apart.

Everything had almost…

That first night without him had been difficult, and nobody would ever say different.

The second night was hard, but they knew they had to keep pushing forwards. They had to find their other friends. They had to find them. They had to-

They’d had a plan.

It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it was never going to be.

That didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter when it had _worked_.

 

One had gotten away.

It felt a little inconsequential since they had skewered Lorenzo with his own weapon. But that didn’t mean they could let their guards down fully.

Of course, it wasn’t the first time they had piled into a room together. It probably wouldn’t be the last, either. None of them really had a problem with that.

Beauregard had been the one to tell what happened to Mollymauk.

It hadn’t been pretty, and Yasha had almost disappeared for a few hours after they’d returned to their room. Beau had followed her, bringing her back, but not after a few more bruises and a few trees had fallen under Yasha’s sword.

Now, dawn was approaching and Caleb was sat in the room, his back pressed against the wall so he faced the door.

Maybe it was old paranoia, or maybe it was well-justified but there had been a silent agreement passed between Beau and Caleb that they would keep watch that night in the room. If not to spot an intruder, then at least to be there if someone needed them.

Caleb shifted, just a little. He clutched Beau’s goggles in his hand. _Just in case he needed them_ , Beau had said before she fell asleep curled up on the floor next to Yasha and close to the bed where Jester and Nott lay.

He let his mind wander to all those people and the looks on their faces when they had been freed from their cells. Let himself remember Nila holding her son in her arms with tears in her eyes.

There was an ache in his chest, once that Caleb had only recently become aware of and of which he could directly pinpoint the origin of.

It was the ache that he felt when he watched those four young children in Hupperdook hug their parents tight. It was the ache when they had rescued Kiri from the swamp and cared for her.

A newly familiar phenomenon, and Caleb found he liked it. He liked this direction in which he was beginning to grow.

Maybe a monster could find redemption, after all.

“Can’t sleep?”

The voice startled Caleb, but only for the second it took to register as Fjord’s. He didn’t know when Fjord had woken up, and he felt a little guilty that he may have been the cause.

“I wanted to keep watch.” Caleb said, quietly. He watched as Fjord pulled himself up so he was sitting against the wall beside Caleb. “You couldn’t sleep?”

“Nah,” Fjord said, his gaze breaking away from Caleb’s just for a second. His shoulders fell and Fjord quietly found Caleb’s hand, linking their fingers. The memory of Fjord pulling him aside just before they had re-entered Shady Creek Run was still fresh in his mind.

The memory of Fjord holding him close and kissing his forehead as Caleb listened to his heartbeat; it sat just beneath his skin like an itch. Impossible to ignore if you kept telling yourself not to scratch at it.

Fjord’s thumb stroked Caleb’s wrist absently. It was the kind of gentle, thoughtless touch that Caleb was _slowly_ getting used to.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Caleb asked, drawing his knees a little closer to his chest.

“Aside from the rescue mission the four of you went on to save us?” Fjord asked, his tone wasn’t harsh, but it was _tired_ , “And how we lost Molly? And apparently gained another Cleric?”

Nott shifted in her sleep and both men fell quiet. But Nott settled down and Caleb released the breath he was holding.

“It’s a lot to process.” Caleb agreed, feeling his years pressing on him for just a moment. He squeezed Fjord’s hand, grounding them both to the moment. “But....”

“What’s on your mind, Caleb?” Fjord asked, his voice as gentle as the pad of thumb when it brushed against the back of Caleb’s hand.

“I do not feel like this task for the Gentleman was worth it.” Caleb said, after a long and faulting moment. “The price we have paid was too great.”

“Because we lost Molly?”

“And because we almost lost you. And Jester, and Yasha.” Caleb said. He wasn’t looking at Fjord anymore; he was looking into the middle-distance, and Fjord didn’t try to pull him away. Not yet, at least. “I… I have grown to like this group. More than I ever thought I would. And being a part of this group… I have found that I do not like who I am, but that I am starting to like who you people are making me into. You lot make me want to be better than I am.”

The silence that followed his words was as tense as Caleb’s posture. He hadn’t meant to bare that much of himself, but the words had started to spill and Caleb just hadn’t stop them.

Caleb didn’t know what reaction he expected. But he couldn’t help the feeling of relief when Fjord rested his head on Caleb’s shoulder.

“That was a mighty brave thing you just admitted to me, Caleb.” Fjord said. “I ever tell you how much I admire you for shit like this?”

“It may have come up in the past.” Caleb said, smiling as Fjord ‘ _hmm_ ’ed in agreement. He let the silence swaddle them like a blanket.

Dawn was beginning to break over the rooftops behind them, and Caleb watched the walls shift from darkness to the lighter hues of daybreak.

“Where did you bury him?” Fjord asked, his voice a whisper amongst the sleeping bodies.

“Near where we set the ambush.” Caleb kept his voice low as well, and he hated how tired it sounded. “We should pass it on the road back to Zadash.”

“Might be nice to hold a proper funeral. Give him the send off he deserved.” Fjord said.

“That would be nice.” Caleb agreed, turning his head and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Fjord’s head.

Fjord leaned away and caught Caleb’s gaze, holding it steady for a long moment. He raised his free hand and gently ran his knuckles along Caleb’s scruffy jaw. It had been a while since Caleb had asked Yasha to shave him, and he had yet to get around to asking again.

“Let’s make this work.” Fjord said, falling into the old routine, clutching it like a life preserver in the ocean.

“Yeah, we can make this work.” Caleb promised, leaning forward. He pressed a careful kiss to Fjord’s lips, smiling a little as he felt Fjord’s hand tangle itself in his hair. The kiss was full of as much warmth as every other kiss they had shared in the early hours of the morning. It didn't have the heat of sex, or the desperation of coming down from the high of combat. Then again, Fjord wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Caleb broke the kiss and pressed another against his cheek.

“You should go back to sleep.” He said, softly. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

“You better be, Widogast.” Fjord said, not sounding threatening in the slightest.

“Goodnight, Fjord.” Caleb said, letting Fjord settle against his side, his head resting on his shoulder once more.

The light of dawn slowly filled the room, lighting it with pinks and oranges of a sunrise, as Caleb kept a careful watch over his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> (the inspiration for Caleb’s speech very much comes from Percy and Vax’s conversation from ep 64 from campaign 1 and that conversation had very much influenced my world view, so naturally I projected it onto Caleb)
> 
> I'm so weak for character redemption arcs and I'm _living_ for caleb's rn, and I'm still in anguish because of the fact that he's only beginning his redemption arc because of the M9 (and mostly Mollymauk) pushing themselves to be better people. It's something that I really try to cling to and I guess this campaign's hitting a little harder than VM because of that.  <3
> 
> here's a little freebie: Next to Me by Imagine Dragons is a widofjord song


End file.
